Supremacy, in Abuse

I'm a man, and, I was sex trafficked, for a decade, to provide a "husband experience" to the local gang's best performing prostitute, then, the local mafia fag's daughter, then, to the national mafia's most powerful witch. 

They use a combination of witchcraft, & ultra high-tech to do their gangstalking. But, don't choose to get excited assuming that's good, because they're all infantile jerk-offs, suffering arrested development thar started when they were two years old.

So, giving them that, in practice, looks exactly like that YouTube video, with the 9 year old boys who are racing million dollar Ferrari on a professional track. It's outrageously stupifying, but, you can't tear your eyes away because, you want to, but you've never seen charred shrimp.

They were ready for me to give them the cum shot, at age 38, after it had been going on, for about 9 years, so, they told me I was their target for that, because I was pre-verbal autistic, when it started. A victim who can't speak, who, words don't mean anything to, is the 2nd most perfect victim you can have, because, there is absolutely nothing they can do to defend themselves. 

However, I also received the nickname "Jesus" at about year 3, because I was the most perfect victim, because i never got defensive, and I never defend myself. "Jesus Cobaine" was the exact nickname, because, they felt I should be manly about pain, and they thought I was emo, and angst, instead, and that was ick, and often their excuse for "having to" do more of it: torture, that is.

I just want to give my thanks to the academy. It was an absolutely wonderful experience, having to learn the only way I would ever be saved from sex trafficking, was to move myself from non-verbal, to pre-verbal, to verbal. And, having to learn communication, from scratch, surrounded only by liars,  and deceivers. The help, and support, was tremendously inventive, but I cut through them regardless. 

In the end, I learned that being transparent, and openly revealing your values, up-front, informing everyone you meet, of who you are, how, & why, is a gift that loving, quality ppl need to be given, otherwise you remain an unknown, and they treat you with caution, which is synonymous with keeping you physically away from themselves, and never offering any interaction, because the only no risk relationship is no relationship.

And in that same process, I discovered that openly, transparently revealing your values, up-front, in the get-to-know-you stage: it doesn't matter if you have the world's most skillful abuser targeting you that second, and moving in for the close, if you lean back and happily inform them how free and empowering you are, and how great a choice love is, and how it is a benefit that adds to everybody, all abusers listen, on an unconscious level, for values that are incompatible with victimization, and that abuser will identify, by your verbal (it could be bullshitting. They don't know it isn't) claims you can't be targeted, and THEY WILL REJECT THEMSELF, PAINFULLY, since that is their only abort button. Their only abort button, makes them feel impotent and week, while they worship you like a God. 

Then, I found out that doing the exact same thing, verbally, if you are trapped in a pre-existing abuse trap, actually jump-starts (electrically stimulates, to turn on) unused parts of abusive people's rational mind. It doesn't just "get them thinking." It adds new complexity to their decision making processs. So, if you want to take an abuser's violence away from them, permanently, you have a guaranteed audience. Talk to them about freedom, choice, love, and personal power, and all the topics, and eventually they will fall in love with you, and give you a choice, at which point you can tell them to go suck their dick in their own asshole, right before you take the option you made for yourself.

So, literally, I DID therapeutize myself, from non-verbal, all the way to master communicator. I did it with no help. And I did it with only people who are deceived about everything to work with as "communication partners." I want to stop for a moment, and make a distinction between a liar, and someone who doesn't know is true. And someone who is deceived, cannot know what is true, unconditionally, and something opposite, is 100% all of reality, and fully real to them. So, they can only lie, and you should only feel pity for their multiversal personal universe nightmare.

Anyway, i learned that learning the truth, from a pack of people who all live in a personal bubble of oppositeness is actually easier than learning what words are, what they mean, and how to use them, from ppl who always tell the truth. Because, learning from honest ppo, leaves with you the problem of influencing, so, the flow of information is highly restricted, because of natural barriers in the mind that are hard barriers that shut out external influencing. 

I sat around, for ten years, listening to them all talk to themselves, in their bubble of unreality, and i learned abusive ppl better than anyone else in history because I had the interpretation key to understand their every word was self-referential, only.

So, they told me about the fact words meant nothing to me, only belatedly. After i had successfully saved myself, and was going for my victory lap. The one witch was a rebel, and quite loving, albeit a very discreet betrayer of her mafia overlords, and very submissive, deferential, and obsequious (custom personality job) anytime she was observes by them. She told me. And she loved me for it. 

Because, instead. Of making them all fuck off, I took the national mafia's attention and all six gnags, and their tens of thousands of people, and I commanded it on myself, and I talked to them, lovingly, about everything, and by doing so, I gave them all a new option of choosing choice, freedom, happiness, consent, and love. And I set them all free to see the self-harm that abuse only is, and I took it back. 

She fell in love with me. I used my intuition and some kinky remote viewing skills i picked up along the way, to reconcile her and both her parents, to a love between the all 3, that all of them had failed to identify, and didn't know about. They were all artsy in their angst too, but not ick to me since challenge is an open door to glory. I reconciled them to each other making a large chunk of unconscious love consciously apparent to them all, so, debts payed. Favours returned. They tucked off without me having to tell them to, so, they left me owing them a fabour. Again, cheeky buggers. Learned from me too well. 

have you heard of those people that try and put off orgasm, as long as possible? It's called "peaking" or some such. Because they also try to get as close as possible right before going no-touchy. Which is actually touchy and requires a lot of precision and a lot of happy endings happens due to failure. 

I found out, through long bitter experiences of acting on my potential risk, blind, that ppl who intend violence, for the wrong reasons, are pretty much crippled by their conscience. You have to basically force an abuser to commit if you want to be touched you almost have to rape them.

So, intimidation is the posture that abusers find themselves trapped in because they can't commit, and a lot of victims can work with that, so,, good for them.

But, just like those ppl that try not to orgasm, the abuser DOES want to rape and get violent. And they're always raising the threat level, collapsing a while and starting again.

You have to understand, I was raised in an orthodox, fundamental, "Christian" family and that means that I was restricted to accesss basically only "little house on the prairie", Bill Gothard(cult leader) teachings, and "Anne of green gables" plus Fcus on the family. My parents moved us deep into the rural country, as if their capacity to deprive us of reqired socialization wasn't already enough, we moved to a town of 300, when I was 10, and they were all masons who don't talk to non-masons, so, the social deprivation was set in stone. Externallyand internally enforced. 

Homeschooling was the thing. My Mom could teach a two year old to read, but after that she was enraged by the extra work that children represent so she taught us all to hide ourselves well enough that she wouldn't have to know we exist. I was the best of all of us(no one there, to recognize my excellence, sadly). My mom set me in my room, and taught me to never come out and never speak and I stayed in my room, alone, for the next 14 years. 

In 2012, when the sex trafficking began, I was still doing exactly what my mom had taught me to do, enforcing that on myself as an adult.

So, in sex trafficking me, the mafia had an absolutely blank slate. A 30 year old 2 year old with no ability to comprehend the meaning of speech and zero social knowledge not through experience or observation. They could make me anything they could make me, because everything was still possible.. 

Men tend to appreciate that. But women, in 2024, don't. So, the mafia taught me what they knww which was fear. They taught me fear, trying, but eternally failing, right as they were about tonsucceed, to kill me. They did that like those orgasm people do, edging me and peaking me for over ten years and never coming through and never finishing me off, either. 

They taught me everything there is to know about fear. But, inbthe end I learned that I never had to fear them, because I learned how to block all abusers from ever following through. 

And, as excited as I got, to learn new things, and always cover my risks, and covering massive, massive risks that weren't real, I have to say that the entire experience is quite grievous for the loss, compared to the value I had prepared to extract, in case it were there. 

It felt, I can only imagine, like being a virgin and having amazing, amazing, amazing first time sex. Like, orgasms that shake your legs, and organs dancing, and intestines twirling, and a spine vibrating so fast it's louder than a church organ.. 

And then, waking up, calling up her married friends, and then seeing the look on their faces, when she tells them her new husband had a half inch dick.......

That's approximately the let down I learned i was in the free-fall of, the day that I learned that the magic had only ever been me....