Protection, From First Principles

So, if you have an existent relationship bond, if there is a functional agreement, in effect, then, both parties will be damaged, if the agreement fails, for any reason at all. That is first principles, first principle:

Live together, or, die alone.

Second first principle, is that relationship bonds, & relationship agreements do not have to deliver, in any way shape, or form, because they are not anything that contributes to the development of healthy self-esteem, and the value of your person. 

However, once a mutual agreement has been established, for it to fail, or fail to deliver, all parties involved are reduced. Because something they agreed did not occur, all parties take an equal sized fall. That is also first principles, first principles.

Because, betrayal, doesn't refer to what Judas did, when he sold out Jesus. Betrayal, is failure to meet needs. And, everyone's need, is that something they say is true, proves true, otherwise you are proven a liar, publicly. So, forming a relationship agreement, is about agreeing about what is true. And, if that agreement is met with proof that that agreement is not true, everyone involved loses credibility, universally, globally. 

This is something I discussed in an earlier post. I told my reader, that prime minister, of Canada, Justin Trudeau, should have resigned, when his marriage failed, because that is when he lost all effectiveness. When you lose credibility, everyone wants to stay as far away from you as possible. Because, you're divorced from reality. That's proven. So, you're bad news. 

Anyway, the unintelligence of protectionism, is that they don't know, that you are gambling your entire life, betting on red, in the craps game, that relationship is, if you do anything with anyone. You're now fully invested, and if anyone doesn't continue to deliver, and, the agreement falls apart, then, everyone takes a fall.

So, the time to protect, is BEFORE you enter any agreements. And, the WAY to protect, is to protect AGAINST coming into agreements. In other words, since you are risking everything, if you contract, then, you should do all of your due diligence, before there is any contracting. There's no such thing as "we'll see." There's no "try before you buy." As far as credibility, reputation, status, influence, and access to a social life, its all or nothing baby. It's a game for grown-ups.

There is no such thing, as "not all in." Every agreement you undertake, will prove who you are to the world. And, you will be proven a loser, if your partner fails to meet your needs. That's betrayal. Fails to meet the basic needs that must be fulfilled in order for the agreement to succeed. Betrayal, is a failure to love. 

So, that has two consequences. #1, first principles, is that you must be absolutely shameless about getting your needs met. Even if you have to shamelessly manipulate dishonestly, because, if your needs go unmet, then, your participation in the agreement fails, and everyone takes a hit, and everyone has been betrayed, BY YOU, because you failed to have your basic needs met.

Conversely, you must not view protecting yourself, as only for your own sake. Because, if, for whatever reason, accidentally, or because they don't know, or, no one told them (ahem, ahem. Cough) but, it doesn't matter why it happens, just that, if you get hurt, enough, then, once again, you will fail. You will be unable to continue in the agreement. And, everyone else takes the same fall you do. Who is the betrayer, of everyone? YOU ARE. How did you betray everyone? FAILING TO PROTECT YOURSELF. 

Above all things (matters, outcomes, goals, desires, needs, wants, requirements, issues) guard your heart, for, it is the wellspring of life. - Solomon (The Great & Wise King)