What Is A Promise?

 Since the only relationship, is the relationship of relationships within yourself, parts of yourself can be committed to things, and integrity can be lacking. That means, not every part of you, knows what every part of you is committed to, or trying to commit to. So, the value, of coming out, and stating your intentions, is that that tells your entire soul what commitment point you wish to evaluate, and then, your entire soul, will make a decision on whether or not that is your commitment point. 

So, you see, stating your intentions, is about taking something you might be committed to, partway, or, only within part of you, and it's about informing the rest of your soul, in order to create the conditions for consent. Consent, is about every part of your being, committed to, or, committing, the same commitment. So, you see, stating your intentions, is not a "for someone else" thing. It is for yourself. 

That communication exists as a question you are posing, to yourself, to see if that is truly something every part of you wants to do. This is why I do nothing with people who do not talk out what is supposed to be done. Because, I don't like doing things, only with parts of people, nor do I like to enable people to make commitments secretly, in a way where the rest of themselves doesn't know about, because that's tantamount to rape. 

This is also why I don't take verbal commitments as commitments, but as questions. Verbal commitments are people making propositions to themselves. They will need time, and space, alone, in order to receive their answer to what they proposed. And everything they do, will be chaotic, unpredictable, instable, and insecure, until after they have solicited and generated their own consent. A statement of what I don't know I can do, sounds like a promise.  I WOULD to... I WILL.... etc.  

Those are all self-talk statements, from people who are asking themselves what they would, or will. Because they don't know. They can't know. Someone who actually is consenting, who is actually decided, speaks in terms of permission, approval, validation. I CAN, You CAN, I ALLOW, I don't allow, I like, I prefer, it pleases me to.... You see, the latter, are all statements, of the content of self-awareness.  You can ___ ? Really? Sounds promising ;) 

What is missing, in all the overt statements of commitments, that are typically misinterpreted as promises, or guarantees? Self-awareness is missing. There's no human person being referred to. That's why it's not a promise. It's a statement that they don't know themselves. Those kinds of statements are made by people with no relationship to themselves. They serve the purpose of asking themselves what is true about themselves. You come back, a week, a month, maybe 15 years later, who knows if they have arrived at any kind of answer, yet, and, they, guaranteed, won't have a clue who you are, or what they want to do about that, either.