Obviously_Chaos

Attention, of course, is the first gift of yourself. The negotiation of a marriage, for example, everything else will sort itself out, if two people agree, to give all of their attention, to their partner, when their attention is being sought.  Attention, is so much more than what your eyes see. Where you focus, and hold your attention, you have not just created an opportunity to see something, or let something be seen, you have actually given yours whole self, completely, on every level, because, the most you part of you, is the you that lives inside your head. The witness, and what is witnessed, are one. Elkhart Tolle calls that part of the mind the observer. Quantum physics calls it the observer. It is not an eye in your mind, so, don't compare yourself to what any union, masons or otherwise, visually places atop a pyramid. A truly excellent therapist, may call that truest part, that is you a "Noticer."  Because, that is the part of

I don't know how your relationships end. I know that the majority of people have what my first good counselor calls a "drama script." A drama script, is an overly emotional, toxic ending. "It ALWAYS ends this way." AKA, "ends up beings this way." And, you ask yourself, why do they always discover the same facts, over and over, and over? Back in my church days, they called a drama script a "self-fulfilling prophecy." In other words, your actions are a control. You are a control. And, your strategies eliminate the possibility of other scripts coming true.. and your tactics ensure that your script always comes true. So, I don't know how your relationships are, at the end, but, my toxic trait,lol [jk] is that I always offer any help people need, until they are able to make the decision to end things with me, on their own. Because, I don't like conflict. And I despise ineffectiveness. No more elsewhere, than in decision making. I like it t