Drama Scripts

I don't know how your relationships end. I know that the majority of people have what my first good counselor calls a "drama script." A drama script, is an overly emotional, toxic ending. "It ALWAYS ends this way." AKA, "ends up beings this way." And, you ask yourself, why do they always discover the same facts, over and over, and over? Back in my church days, they called a drama script a "self-fulfilling prophecy." In other words, your actions are a control. You are a control. And, your strategies eliminate the possibility of other scripts coming true.. and your tactics ensure that your script always comes true.

So, I don't know how your relationships are, at the end, but, my toxic trait,lol [jk] is that I always offer any help people need, until they are able to make the decision to end things with me, on their own. Because, I don't like conflict. And I despise ineffectiveness. No more elsewhere, than in decision making. I like it to be mutual. So, if I'm done, I don't stop until the other person agrees to leave me the fuck alone. And will be able to do so, successfully, independently, forever. 

Like I said, I don't like to leave open the possibility of any contact, so, my strategies guanratee that other people can, will, and do make the choice I have. The other thing is, I do that, in a way that is enabling, supportive, nurturing, valuing, honoring,...I meet their needs, with love. And so, the two things that are unique, about how I make sure things are, every time someone leaves me, is that they will desire me, by finally recognizing me for who I am, by my values, by my love. 

And I make sure that that identification has taken place, in order to guarantee that that person is tormented by regret for the rest of their life. Because I never end anything with anyone. Love doesn't fail. And, the reason i need them to be needing me forever, and regretting lost access, is so that they when they choose to reject me, they'll know how outrageously self-destructive they are being, and betraying me. 

And for people who will have always screwed you over, no matter what you did, or didnt do, this combination of feelings, and awareness, is the bare minimum their script requires, to guarantee they can go and keep themselves away, on their own, without any more help. I love people well, so that they'll be loyal, if they are, and if they're not, so they'll be tormented, with desire. 

This song, contains everything people tell me, right before they abandon ship and ghost. This is what is said to me, at every ending; these are the facts that people are identifying, when they tell me good-bye, this is how the end looks, with me: I GUARANTEE IT.

"SELFISH HEART" by HYLLS

[Verse 1]

I was hoping you could tell me

If I am whole or if I'm empty

But, we don’t know, and that's too bad

I'm always looking for an answer

Find out if it even matters

But, I can’t know, and it's just too bad

[Pre-Chorus 1]

And you were counting on me to find a way

I know you tried to give what I wouldn't take

[Chorus]

So I wish you well

Anywhere you go

You were good to me

And you need to know

You did everything right

No, you did no wrong

But in my selfish heart

You did not belong

[Verse 2]

It was not in my intentions

To hold you in all that suspension

But, I still don't know, what I wanted then

And you deserve so much better

And here I read to you this letter

'Cause, I was wrong, I couldn't help myself

[Pre-Chorus 2]

If I could do it all again I would spare your time

But I had to find out if you could change my mind

[Chorus]

So I wish you well

Anywhere you go

You were good to me

And you need to know

You did everything right

No, you did no wrong

But in my selfish heart

You did not belong

[Refrain]

No, no, no no, You did not belong

No, no, no no, You did not belong

No, no, no no, You did not belong

No, no, no no, You did not belong

[Verse 3]

I wanted nothing more than do the right thing

I tried and tried but I just couldn't fight it

How could I let this go on for so long

I ask myself and I blame it on…

My selfish heart, my selfish heart

My selfish heart, my selfish heart

[Chorus]

So I wish you well

Anywhere you go

You were good to me

And you need to know

You did everything right

No, you did no wrong

But in my selfish heart

You did not belong